Goodbye: Self Portrait
So my husband has finally had to submit to the inevitable-he left today for Texas as an Over The Road (OTR) driver. We have tried so hard to avoid this for the past few years, but it finally happened. He will be gone for 21 days, home for 4, and that will be his long-term schedule. I am heartbroken but I know he is trying to be a good provider and I really respect him for it. So I will probably be on the message boards more often now, to fight loneliness, etc!
Always Trying to Make Me Laugh.
Our foster son is also leaving, on thursday, so I will truly be living alone for the first time in 8 years. Wow! I am totally freaked out. I am sure that I will get used to it, but it will take me some time.
If you see a big orange Schneider Truck out there on the Highways of the USA, give a wave because it could very well be my dear darling Bubby.
This is where he will sleep.
This morning before he left, I wrote the following:
Life can change so fast. Was this course of changes inevitable, or did we cause it to be? A year ago we were so happy, everything was fine. Now we will be separated for so much of the time. How can we possibly stay close and in love? I feel responsible somehow. Was it scrapbooking? Or my failure to get a good job, which may or may not have really been my fault? I don’t think it is Jesse’s fault, his job didn’t give him enough hours and he was really sick of dump trucking anyway, and there haven’t been any other open doors except this one. So does that mean that everything will be ok? I worry the most for Jesse, his health, his happiness, his spirituality. Will he take care of himself without me around? I must commit to pray for him constantly. I really feel how much I love this man now that he is leaving me alone for 3 weeks.